Aliens. I've been asleep, in a kind of simulation. Like real life but in low resolution. We were testing this theory by sending Andy 6,000 miles away to see if he could see a marker we were laying out. He was taking his sweet time about it, all I'm saying. Then I woke up. I was in a buggy heading to some kind of transport hub. The aliens had laid on buggies for quite a few of us it seems. I don't remember there being aliens before. After some time I realise we're not going to the airport, but instead an immense chamber with a mind-bogglingly large flying saucer in it. We're taken to our own seats. Everyone seems worryingly enthusiastic and compliant about this alien saucer trip, it'll all be fine, it'll be fun, they say. Here's your cubicle, shut in. Cramped. It's just a seat. The front closes down and seals you in. A small light comes on. There's no room to stand. No room to move. Small panic. I hear the person next door saying, hey, I specifically asked for a 'no piss search journey'. I notice there's a toilet under the seat. Two buttons, flush and shower. Off we go, the saucer shudders to life and we leave earth.
In a control room elsewhere two aliens discuss the haul of live fresh meat mission as being a success. 'Can we test the process on the sample area?' asks younger alien. 'No,' says the elder alien, 'we're supposed to wait for...' The first alien hits a button with text next to it that translates roughly as 'convert to gel'. In certain cubicles a noise starts that becomes quickly unbearable, the bonds that hold organic molecules together start to shake apart and the passengers in the test area become liquid, and drain quietly out the bottom of their cubicles.