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Barack Obama and Chemical Weapons

So I discover the USA's new chemical weapons research in a box: a 'tube gun' that fires gel balls at a hypersonic velocity {cough, ed}. The ammunition was varied, from 'instant death' to 'berserker' that made a person go mad and attack everyone around them. One was called 'all at once' which allowed several people to all talk at the same time and still understand each other. Useful, I thought. Anyway, I sought out Barack Obama and we sat down to talk. I told him about the weapons research and that I was disappointed, he said he knew, understood, but that I didn't understand the bigger picture. We then both looked for some neutral powder I could use to cut my drugs, as I wanted some. All we could find were obscure chemicals neither of us had ever heard of. Eventually (after Obama had emptied his pockets in desperation) I decided to have them pure, and leave. [insert a long, futile search for a hotel here] In the end, I retire to the only place left to stay (there's a festival on) - Sainsbury's - they've started doing overnight beds. It's certainly cheap, but in the morning I'm surrounded by shoppers and staff having a tea break near the biscuit aisle. And the breakfast is undercooked. My TripAdvisor review isn't going to be great, all I'm saying.

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