It's not going well at the piano. I'm trying to write a smash hit but every time I try to play something it ends off sounding like the theme tune to 'It aint half hot mum'. Eventually I give in and loudly belt out the whole thing, singing along. My mother and grandmother are in the same room.
'What's that noise?' says gran
'That's Ralph, he's writing a hit record.' says mum.
'Yes, it's about the war.'
'A song about the war?' shouts gran.
'Yes mum, about Burma, you know, Rangoon?'
'About Kowloon?' bellows gran, 'Is it a Chinese song?'