I'm helping to organise a festival on a boat, called 'Ship Shapes'. It's all going wrong, I was supposed to finish the décor and have the boat painted and I've done none of it. Opening night and it just looks like an old ship. However, I'm on it the next night as I find a job lot of cheap brown paint and get it done overnight (it turns out there's a lot more to paint on a ship than you might think). I also use my initiative and organise an event for the next day, 'Cracked Up'. Everyone is invited to come and join us in the ballroom for a day of smoking crack, beginners welcome. Whilst waiting for the event to start I wander off and find myself at a posh public school with a boy called William. We're standing in a classroom with two strict looking teachers when he gets his crack pipe out and has a toot. The teachers are aghast, but do nothing. 'That's funny,' I say, 'we're having a crack day today...' I look around the classroom, 'At least, I think we are.'