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Megalomania

I found myself in India, walking along a hot dusty street. Passing a shop, I pause as something caught my eye. When I look back the shop is covered from top to bottom in huge 'RALPH CAPPER' signs made from red tape. When I venture inside, three old men are waiting for me. They explain that this is a shop just for me - anything I want them to do, anything I'd like? It's all free... Some chai? A shave? Change of clothes? I go for a shave and a jaunty red and blue military style outfit with a peaked cap. I can't believe I've only just found this shop to be honest.

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