I once suffered from sleep paralysis, a strange condition, popular in Victorian times, where you wake but can't physically move, you lie there, eyes open, and imagine a goblin is going through your possessions, apparently distracted, but you're next... Well, that was then. Yesterday I woke up to find a large spider in my bed. Slightly panicky, I leapt up and chased it about trying to flick it out... Then, I realised I was dreaming and thought, oh oh! And sat bolt upright in bed, woah! No spider, no chasing... Then, as I looked about at the odd wallpaper and curtains, hang on, hang on! I was still dreaming! So, I woke up again, like a bolt of electricity passing through me: Mr Twitch! But thought, oh ello, no, maybe I'm still dreaming, so didn't even open my eyes, spiders be damned! (They don't even really bite here, I thought as I fell asleep again). So, times passes... Now, there are known knowns, and known unknowns as I lie here now, apparently awake. For example: why am I fully dressed? Is the memory of getting up in the night and making a 'toasted brie sandwich' real? What is a 'toasted brie sandwich' anyway? Did I really try and demonstrate martial arts last night? Did I blag an umbrella from the Gregson's lost property room? When did I last really, really eat a fried egg? Is it time for very, very loud music?